LeanneBennett.com

One song I really love is Paramore's I Caught Myself. I realise I'm way too old to like this music, but I honestly don't care. For me, it's the song, really regardless of performer. If the song touches me, I like it, and I'm sticking with that.

One poignant line from the song that really hits me is "I don't know what I want." How often I've felt this way! Even when I've been in situations that some other people might envy, I have found myself thinking, "This isn't what I want."

But then, the inevitable question, "What do I want?"

When I graduated from University, we were given one free visit to the Career Counseling Service on campus. When I met with the Counselor, she told me that in previous years they had told graduating classes that they'd change companies at lease 10 times in their working lifetime. For my graduating class, she said, they were telling graduates that we were likely to change careers 10 times in our working lifetime.

For me this has pretty much held true.  Since holding my first 'real' job, I've been:

A preschool worker
An insurance broker's secretary
An insurance claims processor
A secretary/interpreter (for a deaf boss)
A secretary/tour guide/interpreter at a University
An information specialist at an information clearinghouse
A software trainer
An IT Teacher
A Network Manager
A 3rd Line Server Technician

But I actually studied and planned to be a Psychologist.

And now I'd like to be a writer. 

Good thing I'm a born 'Jack of all Trades'. (I'd like to believe I don't fit the 'Master of None' that usually follows, and honestly I think I've done a good job at all the things I've been.)

So the Counselor was right, and I may not be done yet.

Well, I guess if Grandma Moses can start a painting career in her 70's, I certainly won't let (my much lower) age stop me from doing what I want to do! :-)

Now I just need to be sure what that is. And I'm pretty clear I do know. (At least for now. ;-) )

I am so tired. I need to invent a new word that's worse than tired.

I set up a server today. It was day 2 of the build, and I should have finished, but some things went wrong, as does happen with computers ( :-o ) sometimes. So I pushed my brain all day, sat without moving a whole lot for far too long, (for the second day in a row) and now I'm just so beyond tired that tired is a dot in my rear-view mirror.

And I get to do more of it tomorrow.

But I had my moment today. A lady at the school where I was working said to a technician sitting with me, "How does she do that? I couldn't ever get my head anywhere near that."

Yeah, okay, sometimes I don't acknowledge that what I do takes a lot of skill. When you just do it day to day, you start to feel like it's nothing special. But hey, it is!

And even though the server isn't quite finished, and I still have more to do tomorrow, I did a good (LONG) job today. So I'll take that. :-)

Today was an awful day. I didn't get to sleep early enough, so even though I slept well, my overall sleep tally was still lacking.

Then the traffic was stacked up 'for no apparent reason' the radio said. (except to annoy me apparently!)

Then I got to work and everything I'd planned had to be side-lined because cover was desperately needed in another area. And then, after a dreadful day trying to keep all 'the plates spinning', so to speak, I find out I'm going to get to do exactly the same tomorrow.

And I have an onsite project looming on Wednesday/Thursday that I can't postpone and I don't have time to prepare for because of the other work I have to do. Thankfully I've done this sort of thing numerous times before, so I know I can pull it off, but it won't be easy or fun.

And, on top of everything else, I really didn't feel very well today.

Man there are days when you think, "Why didn't I just acknowledge how bad I felt and call in sick?"

I don't have an answer really, just needed to moan a bit.

Did anybody else have a bad day today, too?

I had to do a job this afternoon onsite, so I was out of the office. I haven't been out of the office much recently so I was looking forward to it. However, my voice was quite hoarse today, so I figured I'd just have to be careful how much I spoke, in an effort not to make it worse.

So I get onsite and the guy I was meeting was someone I'd done work for before. But I'd forgotten that he doesn't hear that well. I said a couple of things, and he mentioned to me that he his hearing loss to me. Oh dear. What could I do?

Cue 4 hours of me trying to speak and him trying to read my lips. It was definitely interesting!

We managed but it was a bit of an ordeal for both of us. And we did discuss it several times and just had to laugh about it.

Oh well, at least he was a very good sport about the situation, and we managed to get the job done. So I'll call that a good day. :-)

I have a 'field trip' from work tomorrow. It's not everyone's idea of exciting, but I'm quite happy about it; I'm attending a trade show in London. A good few of my colleagues are like, "Ehhhh, another trade show.", which is fair enough. But for me, it's a chance to do something completely different, see some interesting things and pick up a few trinkets. (Mostly pens and rulers with big logos on them, but still.) And attending is definitely *something different*.

I so often find myself craving 'something different'. Routine, for me, is tough. 'Same old, same old' just kills me. When there's no variety I find myself just bored and feeling like I'm spiralling downward. But when I get to do something different -- wahey!

It often seems silly in a way, because sometimes the 'something different' can be a job that's repetitive, or even a task that someone else would find boring or dull. But, to me, the 'different' part seems to be the key. I'll often happily do an administrative task (not my normal line of work) even for an enitre day, just because it's a change.

That's one thing I really enjoy about my job -- there's often a lot of variety. One day I might be out at a site doing a set job, another day I'm in the office fixing whatever puzzle comes up next, another day I'm writing up documentation, and so on. As long as things keep changing, I'm usually a pretty happy bunny.

So roll on, trade show! I'm definitely ready for a little something different!